Bluebird Running – Youth Empowerment

I wrote this about a year ago while sitting in the art room in inpatient rehab in Arizona. I’ve made no edits.

misanthropic meat-gazer married to maggie moo misplaced marriage vows martyrdom raucous raves wrinkled space dust in a time warp crying tears of jungle mist deep under the ocean in a submarine lined with velveteen tits soaked in maple bourbon from tennessee oak barrels shipped over from tibet in the late sixties vietnam war exposed millions of skeletal bones wrapped in bacon severed heads turned light into dark and rainbows into shit fucking bullshit ingrate touched penis vagina afterschool in a swamp there lay tens of millions of quartz crystals birthed through cirrhosis of earth and flame twisted cyclone balls in migration after sisters and brothers fucked in fucked up dreams that were more like nightmares and my mind then birthed sistine chapels made only of piss and vinegar sauerkraut zebra shocked lightning bubbles ticktocking like clocks in a bank robbery upside sidewalk chalk drawings made me horny for sausage and tacos stuffed into crepes on a hot summer night in havana not cuba but a knockoff town in ohio suburbs turnpike drawstring boxer fighting cunt missile explodes yesterday man blues zarathustra nirvana implosions of catapults and sword sour gummy bear dilemma soccer and football perish in a house fire on your block sadness encompass the mall with machine gun bullet nightmares my tooth aches in the snowy desert misplaced with a mirage of survival of the fallen ones afternoon tea with slices of lemon and brown sugar gunned down by a crooked toothed teenage fool red blue yellow dead fellows turned inside out for sport sasquatch fights break out over marshmallow stew deep in the mother of god’s kitchen bubble gum blues and bright ideas kickback into sour ones while portuguese pete the parakeet pickles piranha over open flame hunched over tugging on his slim jim with a little urine dribble on his chin from his ex boyfriend slim tim well anyway I’m tired of this display of affection and I want my own sad sick tortilla soup to jam my salami into definite depression outlined the day and my brother’s still sick with the classic case of brain injury sad boy blues peace will prevail and musical showdowns between stevie and the bobs and the kurts and jimi and dijon and rodney and your mom you fucking loser gap-toothed and skin-kneed queer debating orgiastic freedom over hot commodity afternoon china dolls split in half saturday night at the halftime show gay quarterback sandwich sideways fart knocker serendipitous meatball sticker sickening wasted clouds and birds soaring over meadows filled with toxic dew and porcupine turpentines bus stop in siberia icelandic cheating bitch wife taking ejaculate on her face and saying she’s known for sucking the sauce packet from a snaggletooth love child of the devil fit to die an awesome and agonizing death sipping juice has been known to sever the ties between thirst and satisfaction but in rare cases it causes hallucinations beyond repair my life is forever fucked by tiny drops of liquid nitrogen infused in a chemical lab in grandma’s basement with violent and volatile drugs and substance abuse disordered teenagers scared and confused bloodlines of antique forefathers torn into shreds by goats of the middle east I beg and I beg for freedom from obsolete parking lot destruction atonement is a lost cause tear-jerking backstabbing cheater peter pumpkin eater held down by ten million pounds of hotdog bun packages yes I’m drowning in a sea of plastic forlorn bombastic shaggy the clown farted in my lucky charms on easter morning while my teenage sister plastered layer after layer of chimpanzee-tested products on her innocence while father drank himself retarded while mother locked herself in the closet and fingered her way to freedom to images of mighty mike the seventeen year old neighbor in torn navy blue jeans made in vietnam factories by tiny babies who have never known peace or love or truth or american freedom twisted and contorted into sloppy violent drug addiction yeah it ain’t the jungle it is paved oriented circus playground fucked by men old and white and sagged and wrinkled to that dirty rotten core fuck the movies start a cult in your dad’s basement drink cherry flavored drama and never look back for if you do you’ll laugh yourself into a late grave twisted bullshit radical dilemma factories make futuristic babies cycloptic robots rule the fields of the motherland and I’m turning inside out year after year with female sidekicks brainless hot tits sucking and fucking their way out of the dark into the sprinkler-lined fields of paradise beaches tropicana cabana mordecai and tatiana impregnated artificially semen coats of blood and poodle piss at twilight the cunt of two thousand years of slavery flapped open festering and oozing political bullshit while the hands are still bleeding halloween and christmas thanksgiving are you fucking kidding give me root vegetables and a soft pocket lined with rattle snake fangs I want violent disembowelment for all those fucks who never got their shit together raping plundering pilgrims with rotten teeth and metallic dreams reinvent the wheel you innocent siamese infants born pure and beautiful wrapped in silk and perfumed with natural incense of moon sun stars and hope I kiss I weep I beg for forgiveness eating a meatball subway sandwich in a new york subway skyrocket bottles of budweiser into open space on the fourth of july open-ended for all to see splattering mustard packets between breast and pectoral mustache smeared with strawberry lipstick my girlfriend is your sister and she has her own history thoughts and future that’s not mine making her way toward that cliff the whole of society is driving toward shall I stay back alone in a forest dwelling or shall I continue forward with everyone toward our own death that tender aloneness does call especially when I’m not heard but I always come back driven by cock tears or hunger plus some thirst for that reactionary unknown found in human interaction fishing is for fun now and no longer the way of survival grocery store clerk homeless reinforcement of fear shopping cart mommy steer dear go to work don’t be late buy it buy it buy it sell some sticks and dirt packaged in plastic with a turquoise bow scandinavian crows circle ‘round the carcass of human development and buzzards circle ‘round disguised as paraplegic pirates in drag knocking hard on the church doors bang banging for the sermon to begin so here I come in snakeskin-printed corduroy and a fake stick-on mustache with handlebars flapping in the breeze of the electric fans ash trails from my marlboro line the path I strolled in on hotly flicking cig to floor stomping ember with rubber soles of flip flop sandals scandals and vandals knife-fighting knocking over pews like dominos shouting remarks like you’re a devilish snake perish thee o shameful one climb down and be banished from neverland once and forever you blind old arthritic fool abashed face first in the grass defeated siamese twinkle twinkie cream puff pink pastry stink at the skating rink bubble pop piss with a mountain dew twist clever pricks that never miss the free day at the mall’s chucky cheese giveaway payday late hamburger shake torn bit by bit cheesesteak cheese-grater sprinkling tiny particles of meth infused pixie dust flavored with marmalade on your hot dog twenty two years old thinking you’re bold with premature ejaculate stained gym shorts on a kiddy carnival ride with samantha’s sister’s mom’s mom twisting in agony riling and beguiling desiring freedom from the prism of persecution false imprisonment tortured by rotten and forgotten feng shui yes on this day this very day is the day you will die but don’t shy away or cry here just have a happy meal with a toy and a small fry he’s not here to bat an eye that’ll be ten lashes with a diamond encrusted whip to the foreskin to the pink clitoris pickled and stomped by progress of man can’t stop won’t stop get on the assembly line or be shot you petty cry baby fuck-tard rancid and hopeless meat-sack snack-eating trick-or-treating chicken before the egg dilemma systematic brainwashing built into the blood of poor children the youth the trigger finger always turned out in the fuck-you stance dance mothafucka dance caught in a trance in the checkout line the cop’s flashlight staining my retina with mislead bullshit I’m flawed by design it’s a crime to desire to hunger god’s watchful eye like sauron piercing the flesh of the wicked unholy children sacrifice sacrifice safe word safe word this shit ain’t workin’ we are falling to our knees tormented by lack of sleep over-caffeination and dark nightmares of never enough never gonna make it out of my moldy basement apartment on hopes dreams we resort to extremes and burn down the krispy kreme’s until an enlightened unicorn fart-filled tranquilizer dart pierces the heart and sends us through the flame the hard way the difficult breathing the strained contorted pain-filled obstacle is the golden ticket the elevator out of the wonky trailer park amusement ride pistol-hipped john drops to his knees in praise the unspoken truth of nature’s magic and splendor springs forth like a coconut sprinkled bon bon aflame savor the flavor you exotic sailor you crystal encased ancient molecule of fresh water and still tasmanian trevor wont take his hand off the lever he’s stiff shaking shitting his whities there’re some who hold fear too close so close it feels as though it’s attached it won’t part it won’t leave in dire need of a shipwreck and thunderous shift in the framework of the being shaken to the core it’s the only way these cold frigid hands begin to release tension to ease their grip the sting of eons of pain begins to leave the spine shouting up to the heavens like gusts from a bulletless rifle sadness is crippled loneliness is shook of all ownership anger flutters away like tiny moth newborn and all guilt shame and regret park get out and dive into the ocean naked free born anew unmistakenly enlightened unforgotten shadows unveiled in the new light with salt crystals stuck to the minuscule hairs of the child’s brow and cheek fuzz inherently good all things good rest in peace now you beautiful ravens feather floating far from home and always never left.